DAY 5: I'm a YES (Wo)Man - part 1

I almost didn't write about today's challenge. I am so tired, from staying up late and writing and then getting up early. At first I was going to pound out this entry and then I realized that the title of this doesn't mean you say "yes" to all the things you have to do, but to those things you want to do.

So, I am saying "yes" to getting a full night's sleep. And then writing in the morning. But not before I provide you all with an amazing display of art made from the ordinary. Certainly makes me gaze in wonder. Check it out!

I so wish I had the name of the person who made this so that I could celebrate them!

Day 4: Celebrate Your Successes!

This is right down my alley - I LOVE celebrating things. Just ask my daughter. I celebrate as many holidays as I can organize. I am an ardent Chinese New Year reveler - and I'm not Chinese. (Mark your calendar - it's the Year of the Tiger and it begins on February 14th. If THAT's not a good omen, I don't know what is!!)

(photo by Zsuzsanna Kilian)

I - for the most part - will admit to being a Pollyanna. An optimist. I can't help it. So I thought this challenge would be easy-peesy.

Here's what I had to do:

Part A:

1. List people in my life who deserve awards for the little things they do (list what they do).

2. Then for 3 minutes design awards for them (the wackier the better).

3. For the last 4 minutes, list the things that you have done, big or small, that deserve celebrating. Don't be shy, celebrate yourself.

The first two were easy and fun. I have some great ones. There's the neighbor who is always picking up extra fresh eggs from the 'egg lady' (who comes every other Monday) for me because I keep getting confused on which Monday she comes. That neighbor gets a golden egg in a nest of 5 euro bills.

Then there's the friend who is always calling my bluff, ringing my bell to say, 'Are you sure you're not just trying to make others happy at our own expense?' You guessed it, she gets a golden bell, with a very long handle.

And there are many more...

But the last one, writing about myself and celebrating myself, that was hard. I know there are a lot of things I do that are mind-blowingly boring and I think, "I should get a friggin' award for this!" but now I look back and don't think they are worth celebrating. Not with an award.

And why not?! I am super patient and am always looking for the compromise in a sticky situation. But what kind of award would that look like? I often provide clarification and summaries at meetings, but again - what kind of award would that be? Sadly, this is where my powers of creativity have failed me.

I was recently told that I needed a lot of work on my heart chakra because I am really good at giving, but not receiving. So, I am going to take heed and listen. I am open to receiving comments or suggestions from those of you out there that know me and who would like to present me with an award for something.

I'm open.

And perhaps THAT is the key. The realization may be that I need to practice celebrating myself. I'm obviously not very good at it.

Luckily, there's Part B: Go to the grocery store and buy 5 packages of birthday candles. Use them with wild abandon, for any reason. Find a cause for a birthday candle every one of the 37 days. Patti writes, "I travel with a pack because you just never know when a celebration will break out - and you know that the Girl Scouts say: Be Prepared."

So, I went out and bought those candles. I can't wait to use them. I plan on documenting the various occassions on the blog!

Day 3: Driver or Passenger?

I thought today was all about living intensely, saying "yes" to those things that didn't seem practical or mature (though not at the expense of the planet or other people).

I thought it was about making choices. Do I make smart, mature, mediocre, boring, responsible choices?

Or do I make choices that make me giggle, give me a thrill, make me smile and will ultimately make this journey called LIFE more enjoyable?

But I realized it was both - and - neither!

Action: I was suppose to imagine I was driving a car down the street and write for 5 minutes about everything I saw in great detail. Then, I needed to switch positions, be the passenger in the car and write about what I saw for 5 minutes. After reading both what did I notice? (Try it - right now! You might be surprised. I was.)

Results:

Well, as it was a total of 10 minutes non-stop writing, the first result was a minor hand cramp. (I type more than I write, so I guess those muscles were sending me a sign.)

What I noticed (after the cramp went away) is that the driver has a lot of responsibility and needs to be sensible and aware of what is going on in front, behind, and the sides of the car. There's more tension and focus. A passenger (or at least ME as passenger) enjoys a more relaxed atmosphere, notices the beauty or scars of the landscape and quirky things like the horrible color of a particular house or how a lovely field of flowers has been recently dug up because it was made into a sledding hill. (In Germany they like to be prepared.)

Having said that, as passenger I don't get to decide how to react when a bus pulls out suddenly, but as the driver I see it coming several cars ahead and am already preparing my body to react. So, both positions have their advantages and disadvantages. What a surprise. I was prepared to pick one position over the other. But now I am not so sure!

Thoughts: This challenge reminded me of a friend here in Munich. We are not buddy buddy, but as we Americans often call people we know and like "friends", I am sticking with that label. Anyway, I couldn't help thinking of her because she currently lies in a hospital bed, ill from chemotherapy, and I realized she was the perfect example of someone who is a DRIVER in life.

Until now, she was not a passenger, simply watching the scenery go by, and letting others steer. Every time I saw her or heard about her, she was organizing, planning - DOING. And not necessarily stuff that she HAD to do, but fun stuff. Dinners, concerts, art shows, ski trips, cooking classes.

She is a FORCE, and her enthusiasm and energy for life rubs off on everyone around her. Yet, as she lies most uncomfortably in that bed, healing, having to be a passenger for the moment, I hope she is able to take the time to watch the scenery go by, and not worry about driving.

Part B Again, there's another step, if you want to take it. Patti suggests finding one small way to incorporate art into your life. While paying bills - decorate the envelop. Arrange the vegetables on your plate in circles. Etc. etc. etc.

What I did - I bought dark purple towels for the front bathroom. I know it sounds ordinary, simple - but for me it felt extravagant. Our entryway is red and the bathroom is a very plain shade of beige, so as not to clash. But when I saw these hand towels, I just knew they had to be in our front bathroom. Reminds me of the older ladies who walk around wearing the purple and red hats!

Conclusion: We have choices, make ones that add art, joy and surprise to life! For me, LIFE is an ART. Make it every day, in simple ways, and don't be so focused on driving that you don't see the scenery.

Day 2: Cradle Wonder in Your Pocket(book)

Two days down, 35 more to go, and here's the second challenge - rediscover the wonder inherent in something that is apparently ordinary. A bar of soap, an animal track in the snow, the sound of a jet flying over head.

This assignment asked me to do several things.

First: Find my touchstone, talisman, small wonder - that which reminds me of finding wonder in the world, of sharing it with others.

Second: Take 10 minutes to create a tiny collage, drawing, or poem small enough to fit into my wallet representing what brings me joy.

Ok, the results were as follows:

Talisman - I carry a small silver ladybug in my wallet. Every time I change my purse or wallet, it comes too. I see it as a sort of good luck charm, a reminder of the importance of little things, how we are all connected, and how we are fragile. I've been finding real ladybugs in the house since Christmas. Must be extra little gifts from the Christmas tree.

I also discovered a second sort of talisman. I received him as a surprise gift for Christmas this year from dear friends in the U.S. This little guy won't fit in my pocket, but he squeaks when you squeeze him. He has been a constant source of surprise, wonder, and joy since I pulled him out of the box!

(Will you help me name him?)

My collage: This was easy, as I use a tool called VisualsSpeak which already has a lot of great images to use. Then I added things, objects and food, that bring me great joy. I had to include an image from Alaska and some excellent dark chocolate balls from a friend in Switzerland. I took a photo of it. I can't wait to print it out and stick it in my wallet!

Conclusion: I don't normally have a challenge incorporating creativity into my life, but just like everyone, I have those days that are gray, totally lacking in inspiration, wonder and, yes - intensity. I'm going to use my talisman and my photo as sort of match sticks to 'light my inner fire'. I'll keep you posted on how that works...

What's your talisman? I'd love to hear...

DAY 1: Find Joy - Dance like a 5 year old

According to Patti there are 6 practices that emerged from writing her book:

Intensity, Inclusion, Integrity, Intimacy, Intuition, Intention

She helpfully points out that each one starts with 'In' (being present) and more importantly with 'I' (as in each person = themselves). So, I decided to make sure and be as present, focused, and involved with each of these 37 days and each challenge along the way.

Because change won't happen unless we start with ourselves. I'm not going to wait for someone to give me permission to live the life that makes ME happy.

Intensity - is part of my first challenge.

Day 1

Action:

Part A - Put on some music and dance like a 5 year old for 2 minutes. (Then write continuously for 3 minutes answering the question "What brings me joy?")

I will admit this is something that I practice regularly, to the horrible embarrassment of my tweenage daughter. When I hear a happy song I dance (in the car, the kitchen, at my computer). I can't help it. So, I danced for 4 minutes to a song that I find very inspirational: Jump Rope by Blue October. (Click on the words to get some happy feet!)

The result was that I was very out of breath by the time I needed to write, so there was a lot of heavy panting while scribbling.

The summary of what brings me joy? Mountains, sunshine, crickets, slightly melted ice cream, laughing children, watching dogs jump in the snow...

Part B (Oh, you thought we were done, huh?!) Describe your dance of joy in 3 minutes. (Then write for 2 more minutes about what keeps you from dancing it!)

I surprised myself in the description, it looked a lot like a yoga pose that broke out into aerobic dance moves with the accompaniment of giggling and screaming children. (Lots of twirling and skipping.) And though I do dance it - I don't do it nearly as often as I'd like because I don't want to embarrass my daughter or partner. And I have that annoying little voice that says, 'You look stupid' or 'People will think you're crazy' playing in my head.

Luckily, Patti reasons that if we worked harder at finding and expressing joy instead of caring so much what others think (and judging others who do things differently than we do), we would all find more time to dance and create joy. (Sounds way more fun than criticizing others anyway...)

So...what's your dance of joy?!

Conclusion: Practice joy, inner joy that makes me want to dance, even in the post office line. Practice being curious, it has much more power to produce good than being judgmental.

Extra tip:

If you haven't seen it already, watch Matt dance all over the world!

The 37 Day Challenge: Creating a Mindful and Intentional Life

On Monday, January 11th, it will be exactly 37 days until my 40th birthday. I'm actually looking forward to reaching this milestone. I know a lot of people tend to ignore this important date, some say it is "half-way there" (there = end of life) birthday, but I like to look at it as an occassion to celebrate the fact that I have reached adulthood.

I know what I want to be when I grow up. Me.

And the best way I know how to celebrate is by doing something significant, creative, memorable and impacting. That's why I have decided to do a 37 day challenge to live a more mindful and intentional life.

A friend and fellow creative soul, Patti Digh, has written "life is a verb: 37 days to wake up, be mindful and live intentionally". I bought it and kept it in my office as a point of interest and reference during my workshops and coaching sessions. But I never actually read it. And I realize that happens a lot in life. We pick up something and have good intentions, but don't follow through.

So, my goal is to start practicing NOW for how I want to live the second half of my life.

In Patti's book, she gives daily challenges to be creative and open to life and what it throws at you. Each day I will document the challenge and it's results. I invite you (I encourage you!) to join me in this experiment. Feel free to leave comments and share your own personal results.

A journey shared is so much more fun.

The Benefits of Sharing

You've heard it since you were a child. Play nice and share.
You've probably said it to your own children. Yet it isn't something other adults say to other adults. It seems it is one of those lessons you're suppose to learn by the time you are an adult - like saying "Thank you". Simple.

But it's not.

I am amazed at how many adults don't share. They seem to be afraid that if they give up something they feel they have earned, that they'll have LESS of it. They follow the equation of 2 - 1 = 1. But it doesn't have to work that way. And in these scary financial times, where we are struggling to keep our houses, put non-modified food on the table, and just do more with less, sharing doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. But it's the key.

Let me explain.

Going it Alone

Personally and professionally, we need supporters, contacts, others to bounce ideas off of. Otherwise, we end up doing all the work that we could have shared. Does that mean we shared the profit too and therefore had less of it? Maybe.

Or it could mean that one hand washed the other. By working together we created something better than we could offer alone. I see networking sites like LinkedIn and Xing and Plaxo are flourishing because as the economy tightens and "competition" gets tougher, we have to find people who have resources that we don't. And usually, there is a trade.

Oh, so that's kind of like sharing - isn't it? I like to think so.

Another benefit of sharing is purely psychological, but ends up translating into abundance. One of my favorite writers, Martha Beck, who often writes for 'O' Magazine, wrote in her article about just-in-time thinking and just-in-case.

The main point was that in times of scarcity, especially in our 'First World' lives, it is actually ok to take only what you need, eat what you want, and think in a way that helps you realize there is enough, and there will always be just enough when you need it.

You don't have to stock pile and hord.

No, really, you don't.

How it Works

It is actually quite easy to start thinking and acting in a way that lives up to the rule of sharing.

1) Make a list of all the great things in your life that you have without trying too hard. (fresh air, warm sunshine, clean water to drink, healthy, happy children etc.)

2) Make a list of all the resources you have, like people in your life who support you in different ways, your car, your education.

3) Then try thinking of all the things you could share. For example, I am an avid reader, so I always have a paperback around, or an idea of a good movie. I share those books and ideas with people all the time. I also love stories and tend to remember things when they are in a context. If I meet someone who loves photography, my mind starts going through the catalogue of others who like it and I try to connect the people who love it to each other.

This is a very powerful way to share. It not only connects you to others, but creates a kind of abundance. I like to look at it as an invisible safety net. Who knows, some day you may need something, and if you've been sharing, it's likely others will feel grateful and return the favor.

I have never had sharing backfire. Especially when I do it without expecting something in return.

No surprise I am a big believer in, 'What goes around, comes around.'