Day 2: Cradle Wonder in Your Pocket(book)

Two days down, 35 more to go, and here's the second challenge - rediscover the wonder inherent in something that is apparently ordinary. A bar of soap, an animal track in the snow, the sound of a jet flying over head.

This assignment asked me to do several things.

First: Find my touchstone, talisman, small wonder - that which reminds me of finding wonder in the world, of sharing it with others.

Second: Take 10 minutes to create a tiny collage, drawing, or poem small enough to fit into my wallet representing what brings me joy.

Ok, the results were as follows:

Talisman - I carry a small silver ladybug in my wallet. Every time I change my purse or wallet, it comes too. I see it as a sort of good luck charm, a reminder of the importance of little things, how we are all connected, and how we are fragile. I've been finding real ladybugs in the house since Christmas. Must be extra little gifts from the Christmas tree.

I also discovered a second sort of talisman. I received him as a surprise gift for Christmas this year from dear friends in the U.S. This little guy won't fit in my pocket, but he squeaks when you squeeze him. He has been a constant source of surprise, wonder, and joy since I pulled him out of the box!

(Will you help me name him?)

My collage: This was easy, as I use a tool called VisualsSpeak which already has a lot of great images to use. Then I added things, objects and food, that bring me great joy. I had to include an image from Alaska and some excellent dark chocolate balls from a friend in Switzerland. I took a photo of it. I can't wait to print it out and stick it in my wallet!

Conclusion: I don't normally have a challenge incorporating creativity into my life, but just like everyone, I have those days that are gray, totally lacking in inspiration, wonder and, yes - intensity. I'm going to use my talisman and my photo as sort of match sticks to 'light my inner fire'. I'll keep you posted on how that works...

What's your talisman? I'd love to hear...

DAY 1: Find Joy - Dance like a 5 year old

According to Patti there are 6 practices that emerged from writing her book:

Intensity, Inclusion, Integrity, Intimacy, Intuition, Intention

She helpfully points out that each one starts with 'In' (being present) and more importantly with 'I' (as in each person = themselves). So, I decided to make sure and be as present, focused, and involved with each of these 37 days and each challenge along the way.

Because change won't happen unless we start with ourselves. I'm not going to wait for someone to give me permission to live the life that makes ME happy.

Intensity - is part of my first challenge.

Day 1

Action:

Part A - Put on some music and dance like a 5 year old for 2 minutes. (Then write continuously for 3 minutes answering the question "What brings me joy?")

I will admit this is something that I practice regularly, to the horrible embarrassment of my tweenage daughter. When I hear a happy song I dance (in the car, the kitchen, at my computer). I can't help it. So, I danced for 4 minutes to a song that I find very inspirational: Jump Rope by Blue October. (Click on the words to get some happy feet!)

The result was that I was very out of breath by the time I needed to write, so there was a lot of heavy panting while scribbling.

The summary of what brings me joy? Mountains, sunshine, crickets, slightly melted ice cream, laughing children, watching dogs jump in the snow...

Part B (Oh, you thought we were done, huh?!) Describe your dance of joy in 3 minutes. (Then write for 2 more minutes about what keeps you from dancing it!)

I surprised myself in the description, it looked a lot like a yoga pose that broke out into aerobic dance moves with the accompaniment of giggling and screaming children. (Lots of twirling and skipping.) And though I do dance it - I don't do it nearly as often as I'd like because I don't want to embarrass my daughter or partner. And I have that annoying little voice that says, 'You look stupid' or 'People will think you're crazy' playing in my head.

Luckily, Patti reasons that if we worked harder at finding and expressing joy instead of caring so much what others think (and judging others who do things differently than we do), we would all find more time to dance and create joy. (Sounds way more fun than criticizing others anyway...)

So...what's your dance of joy?!

Conclusion: Practice joy, inner joy that makes me want to dance, even in the post office line. Practice being curious, it has much more power to produce good than being judgmental.

Extra tip:

If you haven't seen it already, watch Matt dance all over the world!

The 37 Day Challenge: Creating a Mindful and Intentional Life

On Monday, January 11th, it will be exactly 37 days until my 40th birthday. I'm actually looking forward to reaching this milestone. I know a lot of people tend to ignore this important date, some say it is "half-way there" (there = end of life) birthday, but I like to look at it as an occassion to celebrate the fact that I have reached adulthood.

I know what I want to be when I grow up. Me.

And the best way I know how to celebrate is by doing something significant, creative, memorable and impacting. That's why I have decided to do a 37 day challenge to live a more mindful and intentional life.

A friend and fellow creative soul, Patti Digh, has written "life is a verb: 37 days to wake up, be mindful and live intentionally". I bought it and kept it in my office as a point of interest and reference during my workshops and coaching sessions. But I never actually read it. And I realize that happens a lot in life. We pick up something and have good intentions, but don't follow through.

So, my goal is to start practicing NOW for how I want to live the second half of my life.

In Patti's book, she gives daily challenges to be creative and open to life and what it throws at you. Each day I will document the challenge and it's results. I invite you (I encourage you!) to join me in this experiment. Feel free to leave comments and share your own personal results.

A journey shared is so much more fun.

The Benefits of Sharing

You've heard it since you were a child. Play nice and share.
You've probably said it to your own children. Yet it isn't something other adults say to other adults. It seems it is one of those lessons you're suppose to learn by the time you are an adult - like saying "Thank you". Simple.

But it's not.

I am amazed at how many adults don't share. They seem to be afraid that if they give up something they feel they have earned, that they'll have LESS of it. They follow the equation of 2 - 1 = 1. But it doesn't have to work that way. And in these scary financial times, where we are struggling to keep our houses, put non-modified food on the table, and just do more with less, sharing doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. But it's the key.

Let me explain.

Going it Alone

Personally and professionally, we need supporters, contacts, others to bounce ideas off of. Otherwise, we end up doing all the work that we could have shared. Does that mean we shared the profit too and therefore had less of it? Maybe.

Or it could mean that one hand washed the other. By working together we created something better than we could offer alone. I see networking sites like LinkedIn and Xing and Plaxo are flourishing because as the economy tightens and "competition" gets tougher, we have to find people who have resources that we don't. And usually, there is a trade.

Oh, so that's kind of like sharing - isn't it? I like to think so.

Another benefit of sharing is purely psychological, but ends up translating into abundance. One of my favorite writers, Martha Beck, who often writes for 'O' Magazine, wrote in her article about just-in-time thinking and just-in-case.

The main point was that in times of scarcity, especially in our 'First World' lives, it is actually ok to take only what you need, eat what you want, and think in a way that helps you realize there is enough, and there will always be just enough when you need it.

You don't have to stock pile and hord.

No, really, you don't.

How it Works

It is actually quite easy to start thinking and acting in a way that lives up to the rule of sharing.

1) Make a list of all the great things in your life that you have without trying too hard. (fresh air, warm sunshine, clean water to drink, healthy, happy children etc.)

2) Make a list of all the resources you have, like people in your life who support you in different ways, your car, your education.

3) Then try thinking of all the things you could share. For example, I am an avid reader, so I always have a paperback around, or an idea of a good movie. I share those books and ideas with people all the time. I also love stories and tend to remember things when they are in a context. If I meet someone who loves photography, my mind starts going through the catalogue of others who like it and I try to connect the people who love it to each other.

This is a very powerful way to share. It not only connects you to others, but creates a kind of abundance. I like to look at it as an invisible safety net. Who knows, some day you may need something, and if you've been sharing, it's likely others will feel grateful and return the favor.

I have never had sharing backfire. Especially when I do it without expecting something in return.

No surprise I am a big believer in, 'What goes around, comes around.'

Hurry up and Wait

Have you ever been in a situation where you rushed to get to an appointment or to a location and then you had to wait?! I know a lot of people who are in a hurry, zipping past me on the road, charging past me in the grocery store aisle.

I understand that sometimes it is necessary to rush - but do you know someone who is ALWAYS in a hurry? Someone who exudes "hurry up" energy? It rubs off. My skin gets prickly around these people, my feet tap, my pulse jumps and my shoulders start to tighten up.

I recently met someone at one of my workshops who came to a very important action step. Their goal was to actively wait. Yup. Someone thought that they heard wrong and asked, "Don't you mean take action?" But this person explained that they knew change was coming, but they didn't know what it would look like. So in order to recognize the "change" that would start - they had to pay attention. I thought that was BRILLIANT.

A-ha! So there's a difference between Hurry Up and Wait and Actively Wait, then?! Yes, there is - a big one. It seems to have something to do with focusing and paying attention.

Paying Attention

We humans are really good at spotting patterns. It helps us to categorize, organize, and prioritize. (Not necessarily in that order.) When we pay attention we tend to notice things that either repeat themselves (like habits - for example), or happen outside the regular pattern. Both kinds of paying attention are important.

Focus

This is where focus comes in. If were are paying attention, and let the things we notice slip through our radar with a, oh-now-isn't-that-interesting thought, then the effort is wasted. But if we focus in on what we notice and ask ourselves questions, "Why does that bug me?" "How does that work?" "What made them do that?" then the attention can lead us to something more productive. A solution perhaps. Or a brilliant IDEA.

So you see, when you are in a hurry it is difficult to pay attention and to focus. You simply are moving too fast. Part of Actively Waiting is to be still, or at least to slow down a bit. Don't plan anything for the weekend. Don't take on another project. Take a close look at your calendar and make sure you have time to just be.

I'm not talking ZEN - "be". I'm talking about being open to possibilities, a change in course - who knows? But when it presents itself you'll have time to take action.

Until then - it may just be time to wait.

Let's Play!

When was the last time you played?

No, seriously. When was the last time you did something just to do it - no goals, nothing to check off your to do list, and no winning or losing?

The importance of playing - just doing something for the pleasure of it (some call it goofing around), came up several times in my workshop last week. One person said how LIFE was like a game and the rules could change in the middle, so it was important not to take it too seriously but to have fun and PLAY with it. Another said that she was taking a course and needed to go home and do her "home play" because it wasn't work - she enjoyed it too much. I thought that was BRILLIANT.

And it reminded me how important playing is when you feel stuck and unmotivated. We adults, we've been so well trained not to do something unless we see "the point". Or find an activity useful. Kids - they are the skilled play-ers. They are professionals at picking up something - a toy, a rock, a sock - and playing.

Yes, it is actually healthy to PLAY. It is an open, spontaneous, non-linear way to explore. It increases all those good chemicals in our bodies, like serotonin, that help us be positive, productive, problem-solvers.

Of course, some people can take it too far and use PLAY as an excuse not to do what they need to do, like make the bed - or make decisions. But I'm not talking to those people (they know who they are). I'm talking to those who are feeling tired, stuck, stretched too far.

My suggestion: start playing now. The sun of summer should help (or if you are in the southern hemisphere the cooler winter temperatures). Stretch those creative muscles. Chart new paths in your brain. Get those neural synapses firing. Do something without a list. Join your kids on the playground. Make a sand castle. Build a house for faeries in your backyard. Do the thing that you don't HAVE to do, but the thing that has no "point".

Afterwards, you may discover you're:

• relaxed

• focused

• content

You might even benefit from a bright idea.

Schedule yourself some regular PLAY time. Make a habit of it.

(And for those who really want the academic psychological take on the value of PLAY, there's a great article at: www.psychologytoday.com.)

Sitting with Curiosity (Not sitting curiously!)

Now what does that mean?! We all tend to sit strangely sometimes, looking for that comfortable spot for a sore heel, or relief for the kink in our back. But that’s not what I mean.

To be open to newness – even if it’s something old and familiar sitting in front of us – isn’t easy. Not many of us sit with curiosity, not unless we have to. It can be like going to a foreign movie with no subtitles and having to watch their body language and the scenery to figure out what’s happening. Being observant and non-judgmental isn’t easy.

It takes practice.

But it is important to practice sitting with curiosity. Just as with other skills, like speaking another language, dancing the tango, or problem solving – if you don’t practice you forget how and then have to take time to learn it over again.

So what’s the point?

You might be surprised with what comes up when you step out of judgment and into curiosity. For example, is there someone that raises your hackles/rubs you the wrong way? Sit with it and ask yourself ‘why do they bother me?’ Come up with as many answers (heck, at least three) for why a behavior or physical trait sends you off the deep end.

Take a few deep breaths.

Your first few attempts might be tainted by frustration, but if you can go further, you may discover it has nothing to do with that person, but with you, your own personal values and perceptions. As these are deeply unconscious they can be difficult to observe in ourselves, until they come up against something different.

The ability to let go of having the answer or instant understanding of a person or situation actually allows you to more fully explore. This leads to more solutions, better solutions, to life’s challenges. It also makes life easier. It makes working with others easier.

So, what’s the point, really?

It suddenly makes things less personal and more universal.  No one is perfect. It’s no one’s fault.

There doesn’t have to be an answer for everything. Sometimes, things just are the way they are, and we recognize it and adapt. Or not. But we remain open to new discoveries and insights.

Try sitting with curiosity. You may be surprised to see something enlightening come sit with you.