DAY 5: I'm a YES (Wo)Man! - part 2

Wow, hard to believe this is day 5. I am slowly building up my hand muscles again from all this timed writing.

After a full 9 hours of catch up sleep, my thoughts were much more clear and I was able to focus on the challenge of the day.

Part A: Write for 3 minutes on what you've said 'no' to in the last 12 months. Read it. Then write for 3 minutes on who censors you, what circumstances keep you from saying 'yes'? Read it. Then write for 3 minutes on what YES would look and feel like.

Well, it was very easy to write about what I've said no to because most of it entailed doing good things for myself. And most of it didn't sound like, "No, I need to ..." it sounded more like, "Oh, I can't because I should ..." or "No, I have to ..." Very clever - my censor. My censor is my own desire to make others happy, to avoid conflict or not disappoint others. The result is denying myself something and then waiting until the chance comes again or putting it down to poor planning.

I imagine I am not alone in this way of thinking and behaving. So many of us were taught to address other's needs first (especially mothers and occassionally fathers, or middle children!). It is difficult to make the realization that not taking care of one's own needs eventually affects our ability to take care of others.

It's a cycle. One that perpetuates itself through our children.

My favorite part of this exercise was the last. Describing how 'Yes' would look and feel. That was amazing. The vision of a bird flying over the mountains - soaring, gliding. Then another vision of a giant sea turtle flowing through the water. Then another vision of being in a kayak, propelling myself, balancing on the water. All these images are so powerful, freeing. Strong.

THAT is what it should feel like to say 'Yes', because it is a choice that brings you something, or gives others permission to take care of themselves too. To not worry how others will judge them. To not worry about failing.

Part B: Say 'YES' for the next 37 days to as much as possible.

Be creative when you need to say 'no' and try saying it in a 'yes' instead. Say, 'Yes, thank you for that piece of cake, my children will really enjoy it.' or 'Yes, I would really enjoy a massage, but I will schedule it for next week, because this week I am busy."

Give yourself permission - to fly or to fail. It's all good. YES. It's a very powerful word.