I’m Alive - Da*%!$-it!

I grew up in a place that reminded me regularly that I was a small part of a very gigantic picture. When the earth moves underneath your feet and takes everything attached with it (floors, cabinets, large trees) you feel powerless.

First it scares the crap out of you. Then you have a rushing sense of deep and overflowing gratitude. I’m alive!

(Manu Mohan)

I imagine it is the same with a flood, tornado, hurricane, volcanic eruption or any other major natural disaster. Any time nature exhibits its power, we are reminded of our status as guest, not host.

Funny how I never truly appreciated having to struggle with nature until now. Since living in Munich, where there seem to be very few struggles with nature (I won’t count the infrequent hailstorms or fruit flies) - I've been missing something.

At first it was a kind of lull - then complacency. Things are just dull.

There is no physical reminder to dislodge old (bad) habits, hard old shells that cover my brain and affect how I think. Nothing to wipe away ruts that I get stuck in. Nothing that forces me to feel alive!

Sad to think I have to be forced to do that. It is too easy to get stuck in the Mundane and Mediocre.

(saiuri)

The other thing that natural disasters seem to do is bring people together. I remember a forest fire behind our house two years ago. There were helicopters dumping water from the nearby pond, and neighbors all around came out to look.

Bikers stopped to look and I got to meet neighbors that I had been living next to for more than a year – and had never seen before. There was concern for the folks living next to the forest and a few of us helped them spray their roof and move furniture. Luckily it came to nothing, and I have not seen some of those people since.

For a moment there was a feeling of caring, coming together, connection. People felt necessary, lucky.

Perhaps that is the biggest reminder – not to take things for granted. And as much as I dislike hearing about the struggles or those who survive a natural disaster, I do envy their wake-up call.

Jumping Fences

I was recently walking in the rain through a park with a friend. I forget what we were talking about, probably just unloading, and she said something that stuck with me.

‘I hate it when others chose my boundaries.’

I asked her what she meant and she explained that she did not like it when her husband, or anyone else, told her what the standard shoulds and shouldn’ts are and how they Must Be Maintained.

(Pedro Rama)

It was not that she did not believe in a total lack of boundaries or rules, but there seemed to be so many rules that had Served Their Purpose and were still being held on to, for no apparent reason.

We agreed that when we get to choose which boundaries we maintain there is a greater sense of focus and power. When society decides, based on tradition or obligation, our energy gets sapped and our attitude heads south too.

We get angry, resentful, frustrated. Am I hitting anyone’s “YES!” button?

Surprisingly enough, a lot of this rule following (and I am not talking about things set up to keep us safe, like stopping at red, or not stealing), is self-imposed.

(cubillas)

We often set up fences based on an assumption that THAT is what we are supposed to be doing. I am of working age, I have my degree in marketing, that is what I am supposed to do the rest of my life. Or, I am the eldest, it is my job to be taking care of my aging parents. Or, I am the mom and wife, I should be getting all the laundry done and feeding the dog because no one else will do it if I don’t.

But you see, there is always a choice. There is always a way to redefine something.

The marketing degree, for example. So what if you wake up one day and realize you did it because that’s what made your parents happy? Ask yourself what makes you happy. Is it the people part, the research part, or the creative problem solving part? Those can be found in LOTS of other careers.

And if you are the eldest, all that means is you should continue to have the power and intelligence to convince younger siblings to contribute to your parents’ care. Either with money, or time, or other ideas.

Ultimately, if you are a working mother and have a partner or children over 6 years of age, you have plenty of helpers. Feeding the dog is a shared responsibility and getting the laundry done can be a community effort. (Clean underwear is a powerful motivator.)

Any of this ring a bell? Do you have any boundaries that make you balk? Fences that need to be jumped over? Take a good look, I bet you’ll discover some that no longer serve a purpose, and need to be readjusted.

Realizing you have choices often does that.